Problem

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ELLEN DEGENERES.  I DON'T HAVE TO SUFFER BECAUSE SHE WANTS A FIRM HOLD ON EVERYTHING.  SHE THINKS SHE'S PERFECT AND THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T GET TO CHANGE.

Problem

SOMEBODY NORMAL DO SOMETHING MY DAD DIDN'T GET ME NICE FOOD OUT AND I WANTED TO STAY HOME AND I DON'T DRIVE

Problem

Maybe I should just **** you for listening to my dad.

Problem

Wow, you famous people are worth nothing.

Problem

LOOK I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR MISTAKES ... STOP MAKING FUN OF ME YOU GODDAMN NIGGERS

Problem

I SAID STOP.  SOMEONE DO SOMETHING.  MY DAD IS CONTROLLING MY LIFE.  I AM 26.  CONTROL HIS.

Problem

If you don't stop, I'll s*ear you.

Problem

So, is it safe to say this all for Ellen DeGeneres?  Me losing my female thing and eating lots of pizza.  ...  Me not getting to eat food out now at home though before I did sometimes.

Problem

What kind of person do you think I am?  One who makes no sense?  You think I deserve to lack funds?  Wow, stop getting back at me my whole life!  ':0

Problem

Oh, wow, I see who we really care about, now.

Problem

I'm gonna *beep* you

Quit making fun of me or I'll h*** you

PROBLEM

MY DAD WON'T GET ME FOOD AT A NICE RESTAURANT

HEY, YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ME

WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW

TAKE AWAY EVERYONE'S FOOD

*BEEP*

I KNOW WHAT THIS TRASH IS ALL ABOUT

Twit Pic

I changed my Twitter profile picture.

Wendy's

I ate the spicy chicken salad.  I had some of my light Minute Maid Lemonade, though they also have natural.  I have a Southern Chicken Sandwich and a spicy chicken wrap.  I also have a Root Beer float.  Oh and chili fries I don't like.

Problem

What are you waiting for now, the next remark from Helena Bonham Carter on Ellen DeGeneres?

A Strong Person

My mom is from Indonesia, and my dad is white, so I'd think I'd be a strong person.

My skin is fair, and my hair is dark and my eyes are compact or were.

A Nice Race

Can you believe Tim Burton thinks he's whiter than Ellen DeGeneres?  Ellen DeGeneres had light hair and is a nice person.  She's definitely someone to want to know, if you want to know.

Problem

LOOK, I DON'T NEED THE HELP OF INCOMPETENT|INCAPABLE PEOPLE IN MY BRIDGEWAY TO ENGLAND & EUROPE.

Problem

In Florida, curse words were realy sensitive.  In Louisiana, I went to a Catholic school and it really hurt me that everyone cursed a lot, words like friggin' all the time, and some people cursed a whole lot.  So, I thought about it because I couldn't really think about it.  People thought it was a big deal, later.

Problem

Look, I'm tired of Johnny Depp.  He's getting Ellen DeGeneres in trouble.  What happened to the movie Johnny Depp, the old Johnny Depp?  I guess he's just a figment of the imagination.  Wait, who cares about him, anyway?  I guess you're just jealous of the people who've been posting about him..

What's wrong with Ellen DeGeneres?  She thinks she can be mean because of the n word thing.  Maybe, we should get her in a bad mood and see what really happens to her.

Problem

Something weird happened and I forgot what I was even gonna say.

Look, these people are hurting me and blaming me for stuff I didn't do..

Problem

Who do you think you are?

Problem

What is the problem with Ellen DeGeneres?  Every time you want to debate something, she like harms you or someone you know..  Why don't we just go rampage some people?

Problem

Looks like we have a problem in the world.

Problem

Look, I could hurt myself.

Problem

My dad used to get me food from regular restaurants when I didn't leave the house, like Applebee's.  Not sure I made it anywhere else.

This isn't a game.

Wendy's

Ate

I finished the rest of the pizza.  So, I had the slice and the other deep dish single.

I had a few Oreos with thick chocolate frosting.  I had some of mint frozen pie.  I had 2 Brussels sprouts.  I had 1 1|2 hot dogs with ketchup and wheat buns, used to always bake the buns.  I microwaved the hot dogs.  I used to cook my hot dogs on a pan on the stove all the time, too.  I was covering them awhile ago, I think, like I think I'm doing with hamburgers now so they cook well.

I also woke up to watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I can't wait to see Amanda S. from Les Miserables.  She was in another big musical I didn't see because I guess I wasn't going to movies then.  I think she started singing later and started acting maybe as a late teen?  Oh well, I'll look at her later...

I need to not use facial cleanser, today.  I am just using moisturizer and may use the gentler wash.

I can hear the blood pumping in my brain in the back.  I have on my ear plugs, foam ear plugs.

I feel a bit tired and lackadaisical.  Maybe, I'll post on my blog and stuff, maybe sing and dance and post myself talking about magic and touching people.  More ironing, tonight!

Well-Connected

I thought I already had a relationship with my family.  3|

Nitey

Going to lie down in my clean sheets.  3)

nu photos

Flickr

Not Guilty

I wonder why people in the New Orleans area acted like I was a guilty culprit.

nu tumblr post

Tumblr

2 Showers

Well, 3.  2 long baths.  I had to put moisturizer on my wrists, which were dried up like my supposed "tears" in the New Orleans area after college my 1st year when I thought my life became monitored, like an experiment.

Showered

Ah!  3)  Still feeling cluttered.  Tomorrow, at the 711, I may just get a salad and a lemonade or something and maybe a dessert.  :|

I had a 2nd piece of French toast pizza.

Eating

I had 2 Brussels sprouts and a deep dish pepperoni pizza and am having a French bread pepperoni pizza.  Now, I only have the sliced Baron pizza and the remainder of these 2 packs, left.

New Text Box

Race
❋ Northern China
✩ Indonesia
☀ Paki

Hot

My legs are like volcanos with sweat lining the skin.

I'm wearing my travel-themed loungepants.

Busy Day

What a day!  We went to the grocery store.  I came back.  I had a set of pita wraps at 711, a bottle of strawberry smoothie that was alright.., and an e - clair donut.  $9-$10.  Reminiscent of where I used to live.  Don't know if they sell good pitas here now.

Then, I ironed another load, with pants waiting to dry and hopefully iron tomorrow morning.  I put in a load of towels.  I put my bedding on.

Facebook Post

Facebook

Sweat Beads

I'm flushed, cool yet heated.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

People in Action

So, I was asking my dad ... police are more likely to be killed than militiamen?
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Hot

I'm in my walking shoes from Sports Authority.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

At the Grocery Store

:)

I got 3 really good kinds of little pizzas.

Thick beef burgers, bun length Oscar..., thin rye buns, wheat dog buns, chocolate Oreos, Brussels, some pulp OJ, cheese grits, thick bacon, coconut cookies, lemon biscuits, Propel peach bottles, Aquafina...
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

nu set

Flickr

nu photos of me

Flickr

Entertainment Industry

What do you think about being a stupid movie star?  I kinda want to like earn money.  Then, I hope something opens up in the world.  I already submitted myself and was denied.  I mean, it would have been fun.  I would have gotten excited?

Conspiracy

Maybe, you can't save me.

Exercise

I did some core workout.

Problem

So, howcome people have like trumped attention to me for my dad and mom, etc.?

Washing

I'm washing my bedding.

Problem

So, Ellen DeGeneres has no logic and doesn't fit in.  Yes, I care that I'm nice about her, but I just realized something.  I didn't say like she had nothing to say.  Like, her points seem kinda like Tim Burton, doesn't make sense and is a racist defense.

Problem

Once you spoil someone, you have a problem to deal with.  Don't like walk in on my life.

Problem

Who do you think you are?

Problem

Leave me alone.

Look, now I want to *beep* you.

Problem

What's your problem?  If you were here, I'd h*** you.

Problem

No, I don't like how you like to get details wrong in the big picture too much and then act like I have a problem and bother me and go on and on.

I hope you feel better.

That facial wash must be a bit of a shock.  Maybe, I shouldn't use it tonight.  My pores are getting cleaner.  I'm thinking I'll use the plain wash and not the medicated grapefruit wash.  I just have normal body lotion.

I thought I'd be able to walk all last night and didn't even jog but came home dilapidated and didn't eat.  xp  I was in the bath a long time, though.  8I

Acting Gay

So, are you gonna act like someone is gay or make them think that?  :|

Sorry?

Do you think Ellen DeGeneres regrets calling the girl from Sarasota, wherever it is, gay?  I don't really feel sorry for the girl just Ellen DeGeneres.  I wouldn't call her gay.

Washing

Washing my linen and comforter.  :|

Showered

Still feeling a little bad.  :(

So Insulting

I was so insulted when I came to Orlando and stayed.  I'm originally from Florida.  East Coast, Southwestern and Northwestern and Southwestern and Northwestern, different places..  I just felt that I was like totally suggested that I was like nothing.  That "what" I did meant nothing.  I can see that, but it was a bit too close.  It was wrong.  It didn't make sense.  It was weird.  It wasn't what I was used to.  Like, I went to college, and I was kicked out of my major and came crawling back time after time and was sneered at, as though I was nothing.  *Beep*  Oh, wow, Johnny Depp, as Willy Wonka.  Why was that American History class so hard?

Like, I tried to go to Orlando Ballet School, and they told me to spin and said I didn't have my foot in the right place, but no one does.  I mean, I know where it goes.  I had gotten fat, but it wasn't my fault.  Now, how am I supposed to lose weight?  Got something to say, you think?  Gonna accomplish something?  Well, I know that that was just a sneaky way of them acting and now I'm expected to take ballet if I want to do ballet again or I feel confronted about my liking of ballet.  So, I just learned that maybe you're not as sensitive if you open your legs.  Well, that could be a problem.  I mean, I did gymnastics, so I think I would know.

Shower

I wonder if I will take a shower this evening.  8.  I'm eating at home but may get a slurpee if no one kills me.

Danger - Caution - Warning

Don't get close to me if you overpower me and I have a knife.

So, you think I'm just some mistake showing off?  Take a look around.

New Text Box

Desired Disney Job
✴ Part-Time Fancy Hotel Restaurant or Cleaning|Vacuuming

Desired Part-Time Job in Orlando
✈ I almost applied to be an airport greeter for Disney.
I got turned down by ✉ Sears in 2007 and ☃ Macy's Cosmetics

Dream

My arms were over my head, you know facing each other.

Dreams

I had the most amazing dream.  Finally, I was with these huge kinda gooey heads, like reddish blonde Tim Burtons, all lying sorta in stacks around.  I even touched one, lying on the floor.  I think for the 2nd time 2 big people squeezed in a box to hide in another room.  I was just on the floor in this room.  There was this icy person, like a cartoon of the Snow Queen but evil, kinda laughing like I wouldn't be tortured but threatening to ruin me and attack me I guess.  Like, she was gonna ruin my nose, but it wouldn't really "hurt."  Instead, She engulfed my arms in a huge force, and I was writhing like crazy and couldn't moved.  It was so like kinda I dunno stressful and a little painful or really fast and hard to defend.  I felt I was just so minisculely and so much was writhing out of this force that was attacking my arms, and I knew I would get out.  Her nose was kinda like a slope that went outward and down.  She was like blue and white.  So, no joy, but I was happy something worse wouldn't happen and that I wasn't stimulated.  So, I woke up, then, and it was similar to when I felt pain so much but not like disgusting and felt it for like years, the pleasure and happiness afterwards.  So, after this, I felt kinda like someone was touching me, maybe someone who was really mad at me, my arms, like a staticy reverberation and I never really felt very stimulated, maybe just a wave of dips.  My arms felt so like overpowered and disconnected.  It was the best feeling and exciting, like a ride you dread yet mostly enjoy.  So, it felt like that, and I finally got up.

I told you so.

Why would you want to be like Ellen DeGeneres growing up?  What has the world taught you?  I already decided to lay off me and blame the parents and I guess you could try to blame the kid.  I mean, what are you doing?  You're complaining that your kids look like me.  I didn't want your kids to look like me.  They're not supposed to pick up on the flaws.  You did that.  You influenced them to be that way.  I didn't agree and had nothing to do with it.  Maybe, some thoughts were thrust at me via media.  How polite is that?  You think I'm gonna handle your children?  Through telepathy?

The World

Isn't the world about Johnny Depp?

What's wrong?

What did I do wrong at 1st?  Why do you keep coming up with some excuse, like I was just born evil and that what I do now is all hypnotized and everyone else is like who they are?  Think maybe I was mistreated as an infant?

The Option to Live

What do you think about not giving me the option to live?  Like, supposedly, I did something mildly wrong, but then my whole life becomes jeopardized over everyone else, like "I'm not really that smart" and it doesn't matter if it's not my fault, I'm just made a big deal over in a bad way.  Then, more bad things happen, and they're not like I happen to be homeless.  What's the deal?  I know, for a long time, my dad thought I just had to keep feeling sorry and like suffer, like I shouldn't ever get away.  However, that's wrong, and I can fight back.  I mean, the question then goes to why not everyone else suffer just because I'm made to suffer unjustly I found because maybe it's okay since other people are suffering...  Well, like, if you kill maybe a poor black person in Africa, maybe it would be not as bad as killing a rich white girl.  What if the black person was already sick?

2nd Coat of Nail Polish 3I

Ate Out

I got a hot dog at a 711 and a Sunkist, which is in my bathroom, which is clean except I need to take some things out, and a long donut with red Peppermint sprinkles and chocolate frosting.  It was a big hot dog.

I saw a nice thin guy there who seemed to like me.  Everyone there seemed to.  I also saw 2 girls come in who were probably without heels around 5'6" or 5'7".  They seemed about my size.  They thought I pretty much made a statement.  They were like thin and curvy with hook noses and bleached hair.  Like, they were thinking, "Just 'say 'what.''"

Not Feeling Well

I'm not really feeling that well.  I just ironed 2 loads of laundry, hung up 2 more, and also washed the towels.

I also cleaned up the stuff I got and a few other things..  I arranged my new stuff in the bathroom.


Also, I got Dirty Jobs cleaning stuff for bathroom and multi-surface.

I found that the grapefruit acne body wash was labeled CVS Pharmacy, but I found it at Wal-Mart today..

I got princess vitamins, and they're shaped mostly like princesses.

I got toilet drops, a small brush and comb to go that's like darker aqua and probably shiny, hand wipes and to go, eye shadow, Colgate green most intense toothpaste, sticky waterproof clear earplugs and spent a lot of time in the bath, Caress body soap, this teddy bear brand with a design of wipes for going to the bathroom in a nice bubbly case, rubber hair wraps for green, the new Sheer Blonde which is for like all something but then later you read it's for lighter blondes (after I used Radiant Red for light red hair up north, I couldn't find it nor this round case of glitter for gold|platinum hair coming from up north, they stopped selling fancy stimulating body scrubs and sets at Bath & Body Works in 2007 and I saved mine for about 2 years, and something else oh yea they stopped selling teen vitamins after I stopped taking them once recently but the ear plugs are back at Wal-Mart..) and Fructis Hair Curl Gel, and clear plastic cups to wash my "pennies" in..

I got this cheap nail polish at the mall and it's taking forever to dry.  I mean, it's fun.  I guess I just have to make time.  I'll probably get something more expensive, next time.

I also plan to get a coat rack, a big air purifier (now have a leftover scented plugin that's working well,) and a spotlight lamp which only costs $42, like a shiny silver Boston lamp.  The total is $160 - $170.  For Christmas, I will probably get $250 - $300.  I'd like to get those sweaters, at Wal-Mart.  Maybe, my dad will get them as a Christmas present.  I told him I'd probably get clothes in January. 

He's also supposed to get me a loud fan that I think costs $150 - $200.  Maybe $100 to $150.  So, that should work out.  So, I have all my necessities.  At CVS, I got a little air sanitizer for the bathroom, a stack of colored pill boxes to take my vitamins when I eat out at a restaurant, other things..

Sweaters

There are a lot of nice long-sleeved, striped sweaters, at Wal-Mart.

I found a darker, hot pink and underneath black alternating material, 1 with lace, short-sleeved shirt I got and a pink and gray zip sweater and a navy blue with silky velvetty aqua under windbreaker I also got, have 2 different kinds of blue sweaters, navy and aqua zip.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Ordered New Glitter Eye Shadow from Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart

Worried

Not really, but sometimes my mom doesn't come home on time, anymore, but that's to be expected.  I'm just worried she thinks it means something.

nu photos of me

Flickr

Shiny Blue Light

Such a shiny blue light emitted from my right eye when I was about to be stimulated.

Pink Grapefruit

So, I got Pink Grapefruit cleansers, including an acne body wash.  I just got ordinary body moisturizer.  I also got facial wash.  The cream makes my face feel greasy.  I'm glad I'm taking my pills again.  (Vitamins.)  They have ones for like mood swings, even.  And sleep aids that are like more natural.  So, my new one is a big chewy fiber pill that generally increases digestion that this 1 is for weight management.  It bloated me and made me feel drained, but now I feel less bloated.

Problem

I got another insulting message.  Who do you people think I am?  Stop mimicking me and making me like my dad in bad ways.

So, I woke up to a petty onslaught of attacks to a degree, maybe 2 so far.  I forget what else I was gonna say.

Oh yea, I was feeling stimulated but uncomfortable.  So, I stimulated myself and all of a sudden I just wasn't stimulated.  I got up.  I had stopped.

Dreams

I remember there was 1 where it was like a talent show where you meet Ellen DeGeneres.  Someone had a boy cut, sticking up, kinda thick.  There was this person who came up to me who wanted me to sing and show "her" my books, a thick brunette who I guess I found was a girl.  Ellen DeGeneres or someone who seemed like her came and I don't remember what happened.  I thought this person was a girl with straight hair and big round eyes, dark hair and eyes, and we saw her in high school with hair a little fluffier and thicker and like collected at the bottom who supposedly seemed the same when you thought about it.

Something else interesting happened I don't remember.  I had 3 dreams.  I went to the bathroom once.  Seems I'm always waking up when my dad is around waking.

My last dream was kinda nostalgic.  8|

Nitey

Going to bed soon.

Not sure if I'll make it to the bathroom this time.

Problem

All the famous people are so annoying, and so are other people, though other people care.  Since the n word thing, I think people found out.

What's worse is things were bad before.  People decided to fix those things, like people online hanging onto me like flies for being mean to me.

Problems

So, I don't think we should hurt people.

Problem

So, my dad was driving, and my right sack felt disconnected and like it went up front.  I had to be careful.

I went to a restaurant, and I got the message my daughter wasn't even a cut.

I went to a store, and it felt kinda like a wound scab stuck.  It couldn't move and was like under pressure.

So, with my dad, supposedly it was an accident, but then it wasn't.  Can you believe Ellen DeGeneres would will that?  I don't have my female thing, mostly.  Then, I stayed with my dad in front of the house and I got another insult.  I got the image of his fingers rubbing like to my daughter.

So, it's not funny, and I'm not laughing.

Problem

I don't like Ellen DeGeneres's attitude.  She's trying to get attention from older people like my dad over younger people and ditching us.

She makes mistakes and has nothing to say.  She thought my brother and I were worthless.  What does that say?  It just means that everyone else is worth nothing.  Then, I realized I thought that the reason was because of other people.  I just realized they were all really bad.  What's the idea of coming into my home and making judgements on our lives?  Don't you think we have it hard with my mom being Chinese-Indonesian, and you think you can come in and take her like a prize?

Consider it you shouldn't be able to enjoy her if she's gonna ruin our lives.  I don't trust this.  I think it's because of the n word thing and other things.  She's just getting mad at things and connecting ideas and has no point and is being worthless whoever this is and I already figured that if it's not her she should be flattered that she stooped so low as to accept it and should feel blessed she didn't do it.  I've been checking in a lot and don't know.  She just seems to hate the world.  Isn't it interesting how we don't see how she stimualtes herself?  She probably was stimulated as a child.  Is that all she's worth?  Well, she's pretty attractive and interesting, but I hope it isn't because she's Jewish.  I guess everyone now likes people who makes statements.

Why can't you just accept it, I said no?  Like if you don't stop I should hu*t you.  I already said it was my dad's fault, and it is.  I'm also mad at other people I meet.

My dad hurt me recently.  He's coming out wanting me to be all impressed with his authority over me, though I'm 26 and just want a nice relationship.

Lives Ruined

Just because we "met" "Ellen DeGeneres" doesn't mean our life needs to degenerate.  I guess Tim Burton is just a joke.  Ruined our lives or was it everyone else.  Yup, it was everyone else.  Why can't you admit it, Tim Burton?  Nothing you do is explained|solved.  You are not welcome.

Problem

Stop bothering me.  I don't care about your queasiness.

Help!

I got the idea that my brother is acting like he's a huge version of my dad with a deep voice.  Obviously, Ellen DeGeneres knows, and the idea is connected to her, though she doesn't like it.  Make this stop.  Things went well, before.  She acted nasty after I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer and her new season started.

I don't care about her desire for Late Boomers.  She can't ruin my life.  Why does she keep pushing it?  She needs to lay off.  She doesn't fit in my family.

Tired

:(

Food

I feel fat, but I just had my Fiber Weight Management pill, which is huge and chewy.

I had some honey chicken and a little leftover fried rice and then white rice, which wasn't very good.

Now, I'm heating 2 pans of veggies and a bloody hunk of beef.  ^--^>

Unsuffering

I don't trust that I have to suffer.

Edit

I changed my desired college major and minor and career.

Perturbed

I spend all day thinking how people shouldn't pay attention to me and then get little surprises that they supposedly do.

I keep getting messages and hearing noises planted where I am, like in my room and in my ear now again.

It's really stressful, and no one cares.  I guess people just hate me and also don't think I can make myself succeed without being hurt or told what to do.

nu photo

Flickr

nu photos of me

Flickr

Problem

Why, all of a sudden, do I have to deal with the mistakes of my father?