Sweaters

There are a lot of nice long-sleeved, striped sweaters, at Wal-Mart.

I found a darker, hot pink and underneath black alternating material, 1 with lace, short-sleeved shirt I got and a pink and gray zip sweater and a navy blue with silky velvetty aqua under windbreaker I also got, have 2 different kinds of blue sweaters, navy and aqua zip.
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Ordered New Glitter Eye Shadow from Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart

Worried

Not really, but sometimes my mom doesn't come home on time, anymore, but that's to be expected.  I'm just worried she thinks it means something.

nu photos of me

Flickr

Shiny Blue Light

Such a shiny blue light emitted from my right eye when I was about to be stimulated.

Pink Grapefruit

So, I got Pink Grapefruit cleansers, including an acne body wash.  I just got ordinary body moisturizer.  I also got facial wash.  The cream makes my face feel greasy.  I'm glad I'm taking my pills again.  (Vitamins.)  They have ones for like mood swings, even.  And sleep aids that are like more natural.  So, my new one is a big chewy fiber pill that generally increases digestion that this 1 is for weight management.  It bloated me and made me feel drained, but now I feel less bloated.

Problem

I got another insulting message.  Who do you people think I am?  Stop mimicking me and making me like my dad in bad ways.

So, I woke up to a petty onslaught of attacks to a degree, maybe 2 so far.  I forget what else I was gonna say.

Oh yea, I was feeling stimulated but uncomfortable.  So, I stimulated myself and all of a sudden I just wasn't stimulated.  I got up.  I had stopped.

Dreams

I remember there was 1 where it was like a talent show where you meet Ellen DeGeneres.  Someone had a boy cut, sticking up, kinda thick.  There was this person who came up to me who wanted me to sing and show "her" my books, a thick brunette who I guess I found was a girl.  Ellen DeGeneres or someone who seemed like her came and I don't remember what happened.  I thought this person was a girl with straight hair and big round eyes, dark hair and eyes, and we saw her in high school with hair a little fluffier and thicker and like collected at the bottom who supposedly seemed the same when you thought about it.

Something else interesting happened I don't remember.  I had 3 dreams.  I went to the bathroom once.  Seems I'm always waking up when my dad is around waking.

My last dream was kinda nostalgic.  8|

Nitey

Going to bed soon.

Not sure if I'll make it to the bathroom this time.

Problem

All the famous people are so annoying, and so are other people, though other people care.  Since the n word thing, I think people found out.

What's worse is things were bad before.  People decided to fix those things, like people online hanging onto me like flies for being mean to me.

Problems

So, I don't think we should hurt people.

Problem

So, my dad was driving, and my right sack felt disconnected and like it went up front.  I had to be careful.

I went to a restaurant, and I got the message my daughter wasn't even a cut.

I went to a store, and it felt kinda like a wound scab stuck.  It couldn't move and was like under pressure.

So, with my dad, supposedly it was an accident, but then it wasn't.  Can you believe Ellen DeGeneres would will that?  I don't have my female thing, mostly.  Then, I stayed with my dad in front of the house and I got another insult.  I got the image of his fingers rubbing like to my daughter.

So, it's not funny, and I'm not laughing.

Problem

I don't like Ellen DeGeneres's attitude.  She's trying to get attention from older people like my dad over younger people and ditching us.

She makes mistakes and has nothing to say.  She thought my brother and I were worthless.  What does that say?  It just means that everyone else is worth nothing.  Then, I realized I thought that the reason was because of other people.  I just realized they were all really bad.  What's the idea of coming into my home and making judgements on our lives?  Don't you think we have it hard with my mom being Chinese-Indonesian, and you think you can come in and take her like a prize?

Consider it you shouldn't be able to enjoy her if she's gonna ruin our lives.  I don't trust this.  I think it's because of the n word thing and other things.  She's just getting mad at things and connecting ideas and has no point and is being worthless whoever this is and I already figured that if it's not her she should be flattered that she stooped so low as to accept it and should feel blessed she didn't do it.  I've been checking in a lot and don't know.  She just seems to hate the world.  Isn't it interesting how we don't see how she stimualtes herself?  She probably was stimulated as a child.  Is that all she's worth?  Well, she's pretty attractive and interesting, but I hope it isn't because she's Jewish.  I guess everyone now likes people who makes statements.

Why can't you just accept it, I said no?  Like if you don't stop I should hu*t you.  I already said it was my dad's fault, and it is.  I'm also mad at other people I meet.

My dad hurt me recently.  He's coming out wanting me to be all impressed with his authority over me, though I'm 26 and just want a nice relationship.

Lives Ruined

Just because we "met" "Ellen DeGeneres" doesn't mean our life needs to degenerate.  I guess Tim Burton is just a joke.  Ruined our lives or was it everyone else.  Yup, it was everyone else.  Why can't you admit it, Tim Burton?  Nothing you do is explained|solved.  You are not welcome.

Problem

Stop bothering me.  I don't care about your queasiness.

Help!

I got the idea that my brother is acting like he's a huge version of my dad with a deep voice.  Obviously, Ellen DeGeneres knows, and the idea is connected to her, though she doesn't like it.  Make this stop.  Things went well, before.  She acted nasty after I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer and her new season started.

I don't care about her desire for Late Boomers.  She can't ruin my life.  Why does she keep pushing it?  She needs to lay off.  She doesn't fit in my family.

Tired

:(

Food

I feel fat, but I just had my Fiber Weight Management pill, which is huge and chewy.

I had some honey chicken and a little leftover fried rice and then white rice, which wasn't very good.

Now, I'm heating 2 pans of veggies and a bloody hunk of beef.  ^--^>

Unsuffering

I don't trust that I have to suffer.

Edit

I changed my desired college major and minor and career.

Perturbed

I spend all day thinking how people shouldn't pay attention to me and then get little surprises that they supposedly do.

I keep getting messages and hearing noises planted where I am, like in my room and in my ear now again.

It's really stressful, and no one cares.  I guess people just hate me and also don't think I can make myself succeed without being hurt or told what to do.

nu photo

Flickr

nu photos of me

Flickr

Problem

Why, all of a sudden, do I have to deal with the mistakes of my father?