Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Peer Stimulation

Wow, people are really weird and wanna stimulate you.  Why don't we peer into them before that gets to happen....

Problem

Anyone wanna t****** my doctor or whoever decided to have this happen to me?

Problem

Stop acting like I'm my dad.  What about his race?

Problem

You have a problem.

Problem

I'm gonna get you.

Problem

Hey, stop, did you like blast something out of me?  Someone, get this to stop!  Get this outta here, not that, the person annoying me...  Stop taunting me about how I talk.  Look, stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about.  Oh, you had a reason.  I'm tired of this.  You keep using things that happen to me against me and annoying me.  You won't leave me alone.  You keep acting like I actually get attention.  I just get attention in code, and any good attention is now thrown by the wayside.

Problem

Leave me alone.  You're thinking I have no dignity and pitying me for your wrongdoings.  I need to h*** you.

Problem

Stop.  Leave me alone.  You're an utter waste of time.

I think I just turned into something.

Problem

Why don't you all stop bothering me?  I keep getting annoying messages.  This is ridiculous.  I don't care if someone thought they said that, too.

Problem

Stop acting like I did something wrong.

Hey, be quiet!  I was going to bed soon.  You're disgusting.  Hey, you know too much about me.  I don't care if someone said that to me.  DID YOU JUST CALL ME A NIGGER?  Why don't we all call you a nigger?

Problem

Will you stop bothering me?

Problem

I'm tired of dealing with these people.

Problem

Why do you keep bothering me and saying it's okay?  I didn't do anything to you.  You're just bothering me.  You're just racist.  You don't let me relax.

Problem

Leave me alone.  You're attacking me.  You said I did something wrong.  I'm not amused by your flipping ideas.  I said I'd do something to you if you don't stop treating me like my dad.

Being Your Parents

Why do people want me to be my dad and his sisters aren't him?

Why am I my mom's color?

Wrong With the World

What was wrong with the world when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 1st came out?

Why are people so mean to me for my schools being so bad?  They themselves seem underachieved, you might say.

Problem

Quit trying to convince me I'm bad.  I get annoyed at racism and mistreatment.  I'm not perfect, neither, technically.

You can't even explain yourself.  You've just kept attacking me.

Problem

How am I supposed to relax?

Problem

Quit annoying me and stimulating me.  You're just racist.  You keep testing me for how I feel about others.

Stop.

Weird Messages

Oh, am I getting messages I don't need to get, really?  I know what I'm doing.  I'm not some weirdo.

Problem

No one talks to me.  Hey, quit that.

Problem

I'm not here to listen to elaborations of how insulting Ellen DeGeneres is.

Problem

I keep getting all these insulting messages all the time.  I said quit being like my dad.  He doesn't even listen to my mom.

Complainer

It must be interesting I complained about moving to the New Orleans area.  It was bad.  There's no doubt about it.

Private Thoughts

I can't have any?  Why do I have to keep checking things morally?

Being Bad Back

So, every time something goes wrong, Ellen DeGeneres has to do something bad back.  Isn't this just a racial issue?

I mustn't be "in" on something.  People just keep poking at me when I talk to them and they just talk about fluff and their frustrations.

Feeling Blu

I was about to go to bed and realized how bad my world was.  I have a feeling I need to go to the bathroom and I feel kinda lumpy.  What if I got cancer?

I feel kinda dead from the sun.  I wonder if I should wear sunblock.

I was also wondering ...

Hey, howcome Ellen DeGeneres is so nice now but I get all these nasty messages in private?  My mom "has" to act different and keep playing pretend and annoying me.  I'm fat, and people are being mean to me for not feeling well, I think.  That's not my fault.  Sometimes, I don't go to the grocery store, in time.  I was walking around in the sun a long time, but that would have happened, anyway.  Now, I'm just an experiment, literally.  1 good thing I figured out was to get supplies in advance before shopping for clothes.

Howcome Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton like to side with the underdog?  They keep being so taunting like they're so good because they're not how they want to be.  I am serious.  Ellen DeGeneres thinks she's convincing.  She's leaving insulting clues around.  Tim Burton just insults me in suggestive ways like maybe I'm not really that good.  Maybe, I have brain problems and health problems.  Maybe, I'm not perfect.  With Ellen DeGeneres, like I realize that like I'm getting these problems in the home.  I hear these clicks in my room.  They seem to have stopped.  I had other problems.  She seemed threatening last season.  Ellen DeGeneres thinks because she's famous she's right.  She's overly sensitive.  She submits to racist people.  I'm not attacking her but describing these messages I get in private.  I am guessing they are just sorta things that are bound to happen.  Since Tim Burton, everything I think is like picked at.  Nothing makes sense.

What's the big thing about famous people with the crowd?  Why does it have to be insulting?

xp

I mean, yea, I appreciate these people, but I'm wondering about the severity of my environment and how I want it to be liveable someday.

Irritated

I didn't finish my McDonald's.  I just have been feeling funny but am glad to have money.  '8D

Stitchy

My face looks stitched and flat.

Nitey

I might go to sleep soon, shutting off.

nu videos of me loading

YouTube

Itchy

My pimple cut and is itching under the cream.

Celebs

You should get a blog and post to them online.  Maybe, they'll notice important things.

Nice TV Episode

So, did you enjoy seeing Ellen DeGeneres interview Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta?  I did.  Don't we all like Marty?  Because she has that cute look.  A lot of people like Frenchie.  I thought Rizzo was bad.  I wonder if they were actually exchanging thoughts about Hairspray.

I 1st saw Grease in school in music class, luckily, at 11.  I looked like Olivia Newton-John in way, before I saw it.  Well, I changed before that.  Maybe, I changed again, later.

There was this funny time we had music class in 6th grade, and I was sick and there was a sub who was really big with long white hair.  I saw some of The Nightmare Before Christmas for the 1st time.  I was sick and had to spit in my sweater a lot.  I finally came out and got home and was taken care of, probably took some medicine.  There was this one time in library I had to go to the bathroom and spit up.  It was all the way in the 3rd floor.  Music is 2nd floor with the cafe.

At the time, I was on the brink of changing from more compact to more lose.  I had fluffy|frizzy black|maroon hair (sometimes looked purple|maroon.. maybe twice and it was a big thing a girl with long very bright hair that was mostly white said my hair was maroon at P.E.) with thick bangs parted to the side I cut at the beginning of the school year.  My hair had been "long" or longer, maybe 3 inches below my shoulder.

I had so much fun at the festival there.  That year was probably the most exciting, when the striped tanks were coming out.  I didn't wear tanks because I didn't want to.  I was modern.  I wanted plain long sleeve shirts and mini dresses.  There were nice ones with flares, too.  I had a nice material shirt that was probably black, if not lime green, black.  It was nice when I 1st got it, like a bit below my belt.  Then, it got small and I got bigger.  My mom stopped having us walk as much, like to school, for some reason, and then I got fat.  I wanted to do softball, too, and we just did it a little at youth group.  This funky girl with light brown hair was getting with my friend, who was small with straight white hair, about soccer, wait, me, trying to take me in.  We played this fun game at P.E. called flag or something.  No.  Well, you like get this flag.  There's the whole parking lot of sand.  It's divided.  The 2 6th grades, ...  Then, we even did badminton, which I did up north.  My friends didn't participate in P.E.  It made me so mad.  They were so stuck up.  They thought they were so good.  They couldn't get mad at me.  There was this girl from L.A. who seemed the epitome of every desire with straight white hair and like seemed fat but wasn't, you know?  Her hair was nice and bouncy.  She looked modern and had that look like with fuzzy eyebrows, which she shaved one and didn't come to school.  Her little sister was even bigger, in my brother's grade, with bangs, nice straight smooth hair, actually kinda finer.  I guess I was the most attractive in 4th grade, 5th grade.  I was 2nd to her, then.  I started looking more European, with a pointier-appearing nose, though it wasn't really pointy.  I moved, and I guess there was this 1 boy who impressed me.  He looked English, from New Orleans when his friend died for a year and in drama.  He had light brown, kinda bright hair that sorta stuck up and was really cool and blue eyes.  There was this cute girl on dance team who looked more mature by her 3rd year.  She was in my grade.  The boy was almost 2 years older and a grade older.  I think this girl was Jewish.  She dyed her hair honey.  Everyone there had layers and bangs and were overweight|obese.  She didn't have bangs.  Her hair was smooth.  I think her eyes were brown.  She has a little sister.  The boy looks different now, and it bothers me.  His hair is combed down.  He spoke to me once on Facebook in the past 2 years.  That was all since high school.  He noticed me a lot and we talked for a long time at P.E. and he said my art was bad, 1st person.  He said blue, pink, and purple don't go but that green and orange go together well.  Everyone was sensitive about my art.  Online, people say it's bad, but it doesn't really get to me like that.

Showered

Painted my nails and put cream on my pimple.  I'm all fresh but look ticked.

Problem

So, why did you hurt me?  Why don't you sort your thoughts online in a blog?  That's the only way.  You can think alone in your room.

Defected

Ellen DeGeneres has a lot to fight about.  Wow, people like her defects.

What's wrong with saying someone has defects?  ':[

Problem

Why do you keep torturing me?  I don't need this treatment.  Is it just because of little problems?  I bet that they've been carefully planned.

Problem

I don't care about my dad.  Stop bothering me.  You don't seem to have anything to offer, now.

Problem

I just told you to stop.

Nasty

My mom's been really nasty to me when I was older.

Well, there was always a reason.  It didn't make sense, and I don't remember.  It seemed it was because of my brother.

My parents keep acting like I can feel guilty but shouldn't.  I couldn't remember to write my cousin.

Also, I'm really getting the idea that people want to imagine my parents beat for it.  Why does that have to happen to me?  Mad about your weaknesses?  Why not come out in the open and quit latching onto these things and wasting my time.

Supper

Cooked, Plain Whole Cut Mushrooms and Spinach in Water

I Dunno

There's just not much to do.

Problem

I guess you're just bad people.  I was always good.  YOU WANNA ANSWER?  You got more problems?  Allergic to goals?

Problem

You guys are all bad and are getting me to tell you you aren't really smart nor nice nor never were nice.

Problem

Why don't you leave me alone?  Wait?  Who will talk to me?  Then, you'll just hurt me later, anyway.

Problem

I wish I could h*** you.

You won't stop bothering me.  I just want you to stop.

Problem

If you really said that, then you deserve to be mistreated.

Problem

So, will you just answer me and not hurt me?  Why did you do that?

nu photos of me

Flickr

In a Different Way

Ellen DeGeneres thinks she can do things we can't, in different ways.

Bad Thoughts

I don't have to listen to you people.  They keep affecting me.  I can't like handle that this exists for me.

People think like I'm bad to have thoughts from watching Ellen DeGeneres come to me.  Do you think she should end her show?  I mean, it could affect her.

Wow, you guys don't even do anything, you think that the world is all fluff and meaningless and all we did is nothing.

My life is put at bay for silly things since Johnny Depp.  And before.  For my race.

Now, what, it's a big deal I don't feel like praising Ellen DeGeneres like she's the whole world because she is born in 1958 and is famous already?

Unwelcome Guest

I've been hit with unpleasant surprises.  Why is Ellen DeGeneres better than me?  Everyone is acting like her.

Men

Some men are easy to belittle, but they keep coming back.

Threat

I blame my dad but felt so threatened in his presence for so long so much.

Race

Wow, I get in trouble for bad things happening to me.  I'm not gonna lower my life to others and not make my way and become more European.

Why I'm Mad

I'm just mad about thinking Tim Burton called me not white online.

So Few

So, why are there so few people online talking about the desirable celebrities: Ellen DeGeneres, Tim Burton, and Johnny Depp?

Problem

Look, I've been really injured in private after watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I'm pretty nice.  What else was I gonna say?  Oh yea, you tell me I did something wrong before when I say that and that therefore I'm not functioning properly and that I need to go to Hell or something.

Problem

So, from watching Ellen DeGeneres, I got another message from my mom, and it'll stick.

Problem

I was just attacked.  Ellen DeGeneres is so mean.  It's because I watch her show.  I felt part of my cheek and neck cut in a tacky way.  I'm so mad.  I just sneered at my mom, but Ellen DeGeneres is gay and wants people to be bland.

Feeling Blue

WHAT IS MY PARENTS'S PROBLEMS?  WHY DO THEY WANT ME TO FEEL SUBMISSIVE AND GUILTY|BAD?

How I Feel?

Why are you all telling me you can program how I feel?  Just playing with me?

Be the One

So, my dad actually thought, with all his intelligence, and his family, that maybe Ellen would be the one to accept his racism to me because I'm bad for complaining about their being mean to me and making my life so unfair, being fat and staying up late because of how they treat me coupled with problems I faced during the school day?

Pretty Submissive

Wow, Ellen DeGeneres is pretty submissive.  Isn't everyone?  You's gots to earn yer way.

Doesn't Work

=(

Time to Watch a Movie

Logan's Run

McDonald's

2 Hamburgers
South Chicken Sandwich
Fish
Side Salad
Medium Fries
Chocolate Shake
Hot Fudge Sundae

For lunch, I had all but one small piece of frozen pepperoni pizza and a bowl of plain, cooked really good whole cut mushrooms and spinach after.

I was lying on my couch, so tired and loaded.  I woke up twice, whenever I went to bed and woke up for good between 2:00 A.M. and 3:00 A.M.

I don't normally eat like this.  I did have a lot of hot dogs lately, in a way.

People

People always tell me I'm good but don't think so.

Rejection

I reject the idea that I have to succumb to a stupor to young people as though I've done nothing.

Dream

I had a long, conscious dream but don't remember it.  It reminds me of Logan's Run.

Always Wrong

Ellen DeGeneres thinks it's cute she gets mad whenever she's wrong and you have to think about it.  That happens all the time, well not really, just people like me.

Class

Spinning & Flipping Silks

Orlando Aerial Arts

link

A Real Question

Isn't it a real question if you like to curse but with whom?

Unafraid

I wouldn't be afraid to take ballet because I wouldn't be alone.  I like giving out where I live because what if I lived in a place that wasn't like every other place?  I only had to say the middle of Florida or which city.  I just worry about my family.

Ballet

I don't like sitting through these classes, and the companies and pro classes train like all day long.

Modern Life

Why are people modern only in Florida, California, New York, New Orleans, etc.?

What would you do?

Would you go to the public high school for Talented Theater, Gifted, and Talented Music?  Or would you go to the private high school for more opportunity?  Well, the math class was bad and too hard.  The history class was too easy yet laborious.  The English class didn't provide any instruction in classical literature.  The religion class was bad.  I couldn't succeed on the science project because I started too late.  The teacher was the disciplinarian.  Band, during free period, was hard.  I could not succeed in Chemistry II.  However, it helped me in lab 3 years later.  Physics lab was also fun.  This was level 1.  I had to come home because the lectures were too hard.  The music on Saturdays was worth it.  However, I couldn't be in the ballet recital.  In college, I had to wait a year and got fat and the hurricane came and I was kicked out and nothing was ever the same.  I tried to take class here, but they were sarcastic.  They don't really accept me at the other school, as a person.  I keep having to wonder about my age.  The adult classes aren't so cool.  I don't want to ruin my body for ballet, neither.  What about gymnastics?  I'm thinking of learning to spin on ropes.

I think if you do dance, the question was if you did modern dance or ballet.  Also, ballerinas can do jazz.  Too bad not hip hop.  Modern dancers learn jazz and tap and cheap ballet classes.  I did gymnastics and ballet at different points, and the schedule was hard.  I also got to sing.  I mean, I guess you could carpool or do daycare.  I know you can't come home early when you're young.  You probably have to carpool.  I know dance team was big.  I don't think you'd make it on a bus in all cases.  I didn't carpool, but we got a car and I did piano outside of home at this institute.  I saw theater there, too, and a floutist.  I know you have to do theater after school in junior high, too.  Choir is at some schools.  I mean, I guess, when you're older, you can do swinging on ropes.  Cheerleaders do tumbling.  I did gymnastics when I was 17 for teens and later did the kid class in the summer and then a class for adults.  So, I guess school sports are nice.  Soccer was big.  Volleyball is fun.  I wanted to do softball.  I got a workout at practice.  I also took private tennis but don't think I'd enjoy the team.  I did cross country in the evening but not track.  I did field but didn't compete.  I was also in softball that year.  I think public junior highs have track.  I think non-religious private schools have more than religious schools.  Orlando has acting schools which also offer other activities to prepare for film as well as modeling, though modeling is considered a big thing.  I just realized you could do both, but why?  Too much.  I liked church choir.  That was a big thing for me and ballet on Saturdays.  The kids in the younger class looked at me like I was bad.  Band is nice, too.  Public schools have symphonies, and colleges have chamber orchestras without piano|organ.  Harp is even in band.  You supposedly need to learn piano 1st.  It made it really easy.  Guitar is easy, but I stopped.  It's not very easy.  It's like piano.  You have to practice every day.  I took a break from piano and can't get to an organ.  So, if your mom doesn't work, you can do gymnastics and tumbling I mean ribbons (ropes er swinging on clothes) and I mean or what about ballet and film acting?  If your mom works and you can't get transportation, I mean you could try to get in a sport.  I guess you'd have to work out at home.  Maybe, you play in daycare.  So, the girls sports are...

cheerleading|dance|baton|flag

(Also, you march in school baton, usually.)

Volleyball, Swimming (Cross Country)
Soccer, Basketball
Softball (Track|Field, Tennis)

It seems like if you swim and dance you'd be well off.  I don't know how you could do that unless you had like a program at night.  My college had a prep program even every day for piano.  It got worse after I took it.  The bad thing about that is it really traps you into being good at one thing that's not really quite so fun.  At least, organ, you can play at church.  You know, it has flute sounds and bell sounds.  I played keyboard growing up for piano practice until we moved.  Organ is really nostalgic.  I went to the most prestigious place for it over the summer for a week.  I did the best for what I could do.  Same with piano the summer before in New Orleans.  They have jazz piano, too, but didn't let me in on organ later.

I actually did basketball at a Baptist church.  It seems anyone can do swimming, really.  Same with Track and Field.  Oh yes, and there's that weight training sport.  Those people are really beefed up but might not run.

So, you could still do the swinging around the ribbons.  I guess cheerleaders some of them tumble.  Trapeze class might be open for fit people at night, but the swinging on cloth thing sounds better.

I know I feel the benefits of ballet training.  I don't feel like sitting through a swinging on cloth class, these days.  Plus, money.  I just work out at home and will try to get a good Cardio and upper body DVD.  I guess one day I will have more money and nicer clothes.  I will be more fit and can spend money on other things.

My Blog

Look, what is your problem with me?  This is my blog.

Dominos of Thoughts

Do you believe that people have a domino affect in making decisions and that thoughts actually come to your mind out of your "control?"

Changing Schools

So, I was kicked out of my major because I was losing sleep.  I had the feeling I would change, but I only wanted more.  I really had the feeling I would like go into a different major but already plotted another heavy load in the same line.  In piano, I guess I thought I'd get a D or F, and I thought I'd get a higher grade in one or more other classes.  One was unfair, and I could have done a project over the summer.  So, because of unfairness, I thought, I couldn't even transfer to another prestigious institute.  Now, I just need grade forgiveness for 18 credits I took online.  1 class I only have 1 more shot.  I don't have a 4.0.  I think I have a 3.5.  I'm not sure why I never memorized my piano piece.  I should have been withdrawn.  I guess everyone should be withdrawn.  The goal is to get a high G.P.A.  I mean, I needed a place to better myself.  I didn't know what major to change to, neither, because I was kicked out of my major.

Suggesting Fun of Me

My dad keeps being suggestive to me.  Like, I feel good, and he makes fun of me.

What's at Stake

So, why were people thinking you had to post your name and where you lived online?  What about pictures?

Also, why did they want you to go crazy getting new sites and throwing away old sites?  I had the feeling being organized was selfish.  I also ended up doing things and feeling repercussions from others.

I'm just not having fun when I change in certain ways.  People all prevent me from changing and interacting with others as my new self.  They want me to like do stuff so they know what I'm gonna do and so they can like prevent me from doing it in a certain way.

Also, some people do weird things for attention.  They also think what you accomplished and earned is "what's" at stake.

Problems

Why are there so many problems with social networking sites?  I seem to get them a lot, and no one talks about them with me, no real people.

I also keep getting attacked still for not going online sooner.  Well, I was fat!

Reputation

People are mean to you if you are fat.  It's the parent's|parents's fault.

Problem

WHY ARE PEOPLE TEASING ME THAT I DO BAD THINGS AND DON'T CARE?

Getting back at me for complaining at 12?  I HAD NO FRIENDS.  I WAS FAT.

Hurting Others

So, if you hurt me, I can get back at you because you say what I do is just some physical entity and not the result of surrounding things.

Having a Good Point

Does Ellen DeGeneres have a point?  So, she's just bad and tells people they're not good.  So, like if someone does something bad, like she has to agree?  Why is this a big deal?  I guess you just like her because she's young, a young generation, and has blonde hair and blue eyes and is strong.  Is it because she's Jewish, too?  What about Helena Bonham Carter?  She's Spanish?  What about people who are all Spanish?

STOP

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR INKLINGS

You're all mean and deserve to be "punished" or righted or stopped.  Wow, ...

WILL YOU STOP - I don't even know what the problem is.

Is anyone else getting this?  If you block my posts on the internet, I'm calling the police.

Problem

My Tags Pages, when you open them, shows the posts on the 1st day of the blog posts.

Please stop killing me each time I solve a problem.  Look, someone do something!  What's wrong with this world?

What matters?

Why does Tim Burton think nothing he says matters?

Showered

I just showered and did some cleaning.  I exercised, Cardio and Core, and painted my nails.  I reapplied more cream on my pimple.  It has 2 spots|sections of blood in it and is hard.  It seems pretty dirty from the old cleanser.  I still feel kinda bad.