I was just really bothered and feel more annoyed for reacting. I just felt so overcome and like beaten down.
I will not take this. I will locate the cause of these problems and why I've been so tortured. I'm more convinced it was the n word thing. I don't want to believe my life was an experiment before college and especially not when I moved when I was 12. My life was miserable. Since that thing when I was 11, I pretty much lost my looks and eventually well-being.
So, I think that there is the original source, and then there is the person who takes action and then there is the person who is a victim.
My head is pretty sensitive now, too. It's hard on the outside, and the inside is more stable.