Friday, December 7, 2012
Problem
STOP. I keep getting that I have to feel certain things differently and like I'm like not cool and perverted, like I feel a cut in my wrist from JUST WHEN I WAS STANDING OUT WITH MY DAD IN FRONT OF THE DOOR. OW. SOMEONE **** GET HIM. I think since watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" this season, I am experiencing I am a negro sometimes, like my eyeballs might as though they're rolling back. I got another message that I'm not white. STOP. I'M GONNA **** YOU. I'M GONNA **** YOU TOO FOR GETTING ME TO SAY THAT YOU NIGGER.
Slam
What do you think about Ellen DeGeneres slamming into things that don't make sense just for the feeling and then going back like we have to be nice to her? Look, I can talk to my dad if I want. The only reason I wouldn't would be ... "because he's not good enough." Don't go and elaborate on that. Don't say my aunts are better. They were treated better, and I know Tim Burton thinks that's some thing that has a protocol...
Oh that's so cute. Why am I getting these messages. Stop getting mad at me for giving me messages. You have a problem. I will not deal with this. Help! Something just happened to me. Someone get this to stop. This shouldn't happen to me. Everyone agrees I don't deserve to have things get worse and worse. What's going on, anyway? Why don't people deal with my intelligence? I guess they're just ... I guess they grew up more concerned about other things. Too bad I'm too tired to go into it. '}:| Are you really striving to be like me? What is your problem? Oh, now, you have to deal with my new personality. That just proves how useless you [plural] are. Whoops, that's a real joke! RIGHT. NOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. STOP! :0 I don't think this is avoidable. I don't want this to be my life. Look, go talk to other people. Maybe, no one is out there for you. Maybe, you need more people. Worried about me watching you? I'm sure it'll work out. Maybe, I'm not interesting. I'm kinda young and full of desire around most people, but that's okay. So, why am I not as astute online now? Just kinda making it in fluff? Think anyone cares???
Oh that's so cute. Why am I getting these messages. Stop getting mad at me for giving me messages. You have a problem. I will not deal with this. Help! Something just happened to me. Someone get this to stop. This shouldn't happen to me. Everyone agrees I don't deserve to have things get worse and worse. What's going on, anyway? Why don't people deal with my intelligence? I guess they're just ... I guess they grew up more concerned about other things. Too bad I'm too tired to go into it. '}:| Are you really striving to be like me? What is your problem? Oh, now, you have to deal with my new personality. That just proves how useless you [plural] are. Whoops, that's a real joke! RIGHT. NOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. STOP! :0 I don't think this is avoidable. I don't want this to be my life. Look, go talk to other people. Maybe, no one is out there for you. Maybe, you need more people. Worried about me watching you? I'm sure it'll work out. Maybe, I'm not interesting. I'm kinda young and full of desire around most people, but that's okay. So, why am I not as astute online now? Just kinda making it in fluff? Think anyone cares???
People Who Don't Care
What do you think about Tim Burton directing movies with adults who don't care as much as other people?
Problem
Did you ever stop and think at how others can't control themselves? I mean how they affect others? Like, if they present them to the world in a bad way? That happened to me when I went to the mental hospital. Everyone know I called someone the n word. WHY IS THAT A BIG DEAL? Just so you know, it's important to me that I thought I was totally set up to do it and was told in signals to do it. The person wanted me to.
Problem
Why don't I see more people online? I feel as though people are using me. I'm getting picked on for getting attention, I think. Kids today. What's my future? Will I get married and spend time with a nice boy? Will I ever have any relationships? Will I be in the arts and make money? Will I ever make it in media? Do people want to be in a relationship with me, like on a blog and then meet me and maybe talk to other people? Do they want to not admit I'm like other people who are really white? What happened to the old me's? Why am I so interesting now? Why is it about everyone I used to know and not about me? WHY! Do you think I get tired of you? No, but I think it's good to have a variety of people. I really like Ellen DeGeneres. I'm trying to figure out who her crowd is because they don't seem to be nice to me. Also, I think she'd have a problem with my problems. I just got some bad messages. I'm worried about what will happen to me. I just am so jealous I can't relax and other attractive people can.
Problem
I CAN HAVE WHATEVER I WANT. STOP WASTING MY TIME. ADMIT ELLEN DEGENERES ISN'T BEING SMART. Or it's my dad. I got another message. They are ruining my life and threaten to make it worse later. This can't happen.
HELP!
Ellen DeGeneres killed my dad!
She also would make fun of me for saying this! Someone slap her!
She also would make fun of me for saying this! Someone slap her!
Problem
I won't stop getting these complaints.
Stop complaining all day about being nice to me. I'm getting made fun of a lot for watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I can't live my life peacefully and improve since Johnny Depp.
Stop complaining all day about being nice to me. I'm getting made fun of a lot for watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and I can't live my life peacefully and improve since Johnny Depp.
Problem
I just heard a noise. Get it to stop. I'm gonna h*** someone. I have a problem and something big happens. Look, she's smiling at perverted things and affecting how my dad treats me. She might have even "told my dad to do it" and "told people to do these noises in my room" because my dad said so and then channels it in public. I won't be left alone for things that I do. I just want to live in the world. She keeps being perverted.
LOOK, I KEEP HEARING THESE NOISES IN MY ROOM.
I SAID STOP.
I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PEOPLE. I SAID SO. LISTEN TO ME. YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU WON'T LISTEN. I CAN'T STAND THIS. I SAID STOP. STOP MESSING WITH MY COMPUTER AND THE NOISES IN MY ROOM. STOP PICKING ON ME USING SYMBOLIC SPEECH YOU PERV.
LOOK, I KEEP HEARING THESE NOISES IN MY ROOM.
I SAID STOP.
I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE YOU PEOPLE. I SAID SO. LISTEN TO ME. YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU WON'T LISTEN. I CAN'T STAND THIS. I SAID STOP. STOP MESSING WITH MY COMPUTER AND THE NOISES IN MY ROOM. STOP PICKING ON ME USING SYMBOLIC SPEECH YOU PERV.
Problem
Ellen DeGeneres has a problem with me racially. She is disrespectful.
I was thinking that gay people are bad. That's what people think. How can they raise their own kids when they're older?
Also, I don't feel free to post what I want online because it might bother someone famous who looks at the message boards online, like famous people and movies.
I have a problem. I'm feeling violent. I was upset today because of racism, coupled with other things.
Ellen DeGeneres is annoying because I just got the message she doesn't think I should speak to my dad. She won't explain her logic. Everyone thinks she's racist. She just listens to my dad and she's not nice about my likings. She thinks I shouldn't have a relationship with my aunts. What's her problem? She knows I talked to a boy on IMDb.
When someone is mean to her, she won't stop, neither, thinks she should cause more trouble.
I don't know if all this is from her. It could be from my dad. Other than that, I don't know. It's probably that boy getting attention behind my back.
Who cares about my dad's family? This is my life. They were supposed to talk to me or leave me alone.
She is crazy and sensitive to too much. Maybe, she wants to think she's cooler than everyone.
I'm getting funny feelings from wanting to watch her because she's like so spoiled.
I'm so mad. I wanna find who's responsible.
I was standing out with my dad, just to be cool, and I got a funny message. Someone wanna answer and get involved in this? Ellen DeGeneres is dangerous, and she thinks that's funny, tickling funny, and she's gonna annoy me just for using the word "tickle." See, I'm already annoyed. It's already affected me, and someone's gonna notice, and this is not happening to anyone else.
I was thinking it was funny that she associates words as important. Her attractiveness means nothing. Now, I have to associate other words and things.
Ellen DeGeneres doesn't deserve to talk to my dad. SOMEONE STOP THIS I SAID SOMEONE STOP IT. CALL THE POLICE. She's trying to make people I care about not good racially. She's playing around. I SAID STOP YOU.
I was thinking that gay people are bad. That's what people think. How can they raise their own kids when they're older?
Also, I don't feel free to post what I want online because it might bother someone famous who looks at the message boards online, like famous people and movies.
I have a problem. I'm feeling violent. I was upset today because of racism, coupled with other things.
Ellen DeGeneres is annoying because I just got the message she doesn't think I should speak to my dad. She won't explain her logic. Everyone thinks she's racist. She just listens to my dad and she's not nice about my likings. She thinks I shouldn't have a relationship with my aunts. What's her problem? She knows I talked to a boy on IMDb.
When someone is mean to her, she won't stop, neither, thinks she should cause more trouble.
I don't know if all this is from her. It could be from my dad. Other than that, I don't know. It's probably that boy getting attention behind my back.
Who cares about my dad's family? This is my life. They were supposed to talk to me or leave me alone.
She is crazy and sensitive to too much. Maybe, she wants to think she's cooler than everyone.
I'm getting funny feelings from wanting to watch her because she's like so spoiled.
I'm so mad. I wanna find who's responsible.
I was standing out with my dad, just to be cool, and I got a funny message. Someone wanna answer and get involved in this? Ellen DeGeneres is dangerous, and she thinks that's funny, tickling funny, and she's gonna annoy me just for using the word "tickle." See, I'm already annoyed. It's already affected me, and someone's gonna notice, and this is not happening to anyone else.
I was thinking it was funny that she associates words as important. Her attractiveness means nothing. Now, I have to associate other words and things.
Ellen DeGeneres doesn't deserve to talk to my dad. SOMEONE STOP THIS I SAID SOMEONE STOP IT. CALL THE POLICE. She's trying to make people I care about not good racially. She's playing around. I SAID STOP YOU.
Chores
I did the towels ... and some other little things? Too tired for dishes. It was fun. Oh yes. I cleared the loti I mean kitchen.
Bringing Up
I feel people want to fix my dad when he was a baby and kid to be at a disadvantage. I mean like not being from the South. I don't believe that I have to put aside any advantages I picked up. I mean, it's pretty much an option what you want to be like. :(
Italians and Latin Americans
I wonder why the Spanish were such conquestadors.
Did you also figure that Middle Easterners don't like ballet?
Would you say the Spanish have a lot in common with the Greeks? Italians with the Turks? Turkey is European but a war zone. The Near East looks European, but I guess they don't totally try. Celine Dion's manager isn't European.
Did you also figure that Middle Easterners don't like ballet?
Would you say the Spanish have a lot in common with the Greeks? Italians with the Turks? Turkey is European but a war zone. The Near East looks European, but I guess they don't totally try. Celine Dion's manager isn't European.
Eating
I had 2 hot dogs on wheat buns with ketchup, Heins. I got the new one with ice skates on the front. Then, I had a Philly pop, which I got last time as Italian Ice. Now, I'm having Jumbalaya (sp?) and lemon herbal quelling tea and 2 piece of mint frozen pie. Water. I'm having hamburgers later, I think.
Private Schools
So, I was wondering. Like, if I went to the private high school, how would I do theater? Talented Theater and Talented Music are big. So was Gifted, except it turned out it was AP and the public schools were bad, like the Catholic schools. I know the non-religious private school may not be perfect and supposedly less aesthetic, but I think the Catholic schools were weird. It was fun, of course, when we did entertainment stuff at school, but I mean there's no class for it and maybe there's no time for it with all the kids. Also, the teachers probably don't like doing that with us. I also dreamed I went to the Baptist school, and then I went there. I am thankful, but I had physical problems, staying awake. It's unaccredited. The English was neat but maybe not perfect. The mass was nice but only once a week. I missed religion to go to Talented Music, which was neat to play for the senior play. It was stressful coming back to change for Talented Theater, at the end of the day. At the Catholic school, my Saturdays were always spent in New Orleans in the Classical Music program, and we carpooled among 3 families, the other 2 freshman, 1 Vietnamese (whose mom was sweet but strict and cooked good food) and the other Jewish or part Jewish, named Margaret. The other was Connie. Her mom said that she was on the floor and called 911 as a baby. However, the Saturday program doesn't change. So, maybe, you'd take a different subject, each year. I went in the summer, too. I don't think I could do Dance. They encourage people in the day to go Saturdays. They don't have things like Communications and Directing. So, in a Catholic high school it's also a waste of time in Religion class. I know the History class I took was bad but assume it was just that one. Math they talked and I couldn't succeed. I could have taken Art 3 with one other girl that period, I found later. The intellectual people remind me of my friend Karen from Boston or that state.
Kids! What's the matter with kids?
Why are kids today acting how they don't want to be and then getting like to get you hurt for it? Like, maybe, they thought it was your fault or it's the big moment and you have to admit they're better than you. I know adults do that for me, but I'm not doing that.
Schooling
I guess living in the New Orleans area, I didn't really care about consoling others with Florida logic I held onto. I mean, I lived my life before that. It just seemed it was about checking if you were right and not like exploring. Maybe, I couldn't focus in the New Orleans area. Terribly, I spent a long time on homework but usually got the highest grades and like improved most on the ACT when moving schools. I was really worried about if I went to the Catholic school because it seemed that I just would stay ho tup doing wormk. xp IT seemed that I couldn't do activities. Like, maybe I would just do piano or something like that. I would consider just doing ballet. I just don't feel I'd have a normal life. I was thinking of going to modeling school to be an actor.
Also, when I was lying on my couch last night, I kept getting specific ideas of images. I saw like a real image to the side and heard a click maybe of someone turning on an old TV. Then, I heard a gunshot, and I woke up and it sounded like I really heard something.
So, I was wondering what would happen if you took ballet and went to film acting school. I knew a girl who did ballet and musical theater, and she seemed tired. They said you can go 1-6 days, and she went 6 and wanted to go where I went once a week, 3 times a week. Where I went wasn't very standard.
I was concerned that if you did dance you'd want to post it online. What if people found you? I know it's not good to say where you live because people can get you asleep. People can find you if you give your area of the state or a specific region, like the county, in time. Also, people in town can recognize a picture online you post when you're out.
Also, when I was lying on my couch last night, I kept getting specific ideas of images. I saw like a real image to the side and heard a click maybe of someone turning on an old TV. Then, I heard a gunshot, and I woke up and it sounded like I really heard something.
So, I was wondering what would happen if you took ballet and went to film acting school. I knew a girl who did ballet and musical theater, and she seemed tired. They said you can go 1-6 days, and she went 6 and wanted to go where I went once a week, 3 times a week. Where I went wasn't very standard.
I was concerned that if you did dance you'd want to post it online. What if people found you? I know it's not good to say where you live because people can get you asleep. People can find you if you give your area of the state or a specific region, like the county, in time. Also, people in town can recognize a picture online you post when you're out.
Dream
I remember there was a part when it was Ellen DeGeneres, and I thought of some figure in from French New Orleans, and she for some reason could recognize it and like gave a consoling gesture. She was standing with my mom. I thought Ellen DeGeneres said she was as short as my mom, and like I guess I was almost as tall as she is. Then, I realized it wasn't her and she was like 5'5". She left, kinda triumphant. I told my mom about "the problem I had" because she wanted to be bigger than me, and then I know my younger aunt was there and my older aunt burst in, in front of Ellen DeGeneres. I hugged each of them and tried to connect with my older aunt. I sized up my age, like tried to just size it up to her, now how much older she was as an adult. My mom and Ellen DeGeneres seem kinda young. I've had the experience that people a little older than Ellen DeGeneres are also young. I guess it's just that I'm half Chinese-Indonesian so think any female is too young or too old to talk to me as an adult.
Dream
A lady came over to my house in the shadows, couldn't see what she really looked like, just a shadow figure, probably had short, straight blonde hair that kinda lifted up. I heard her talk but maybe not really. My aunts were over. I was saying like what do you want to do, talk to them, stuff, that I'd be in school in the fall, almost thought to say summer. My dad was there and my mom somewhere. So, she was like wrestling on the floor with me in a way, don't remember the details. I wanted to help my aunt and sang 2 church songs, I know. I had her leave, somehow, and she tried to come back, but I held the door as it jiggled. She tried to put her hand through probably to prove she was not who I wanted her to be. I had to latch the door on the top, too. She left. I went to the office. I worked on unknotting to close the windows by a computer with my mom. My dad contacted the police. Scarily, I saw her figure, didn't know who she was, in color, too, just looked generic but was pretty, kinda bouncy, had a distinct look but could be anyone. Saw her face, and it seemed to hide her identity as she smiled at my dad. She was in front of a university. I was thinking how my dad hypnotized her and how I joined in saying that it wasn't my dad who forced her to do this but it was just that she was doing this on her own. It was like in a way that said that like she wasn't doing it under anyone.
Dream
We went to 2 big slides that were set up based on origami. They were rides, coasters. There was a big box at the top with a gym. I found that my friend were dressing up in green with guns and chasing me as cops. Yellow as few and fair. I made it back and ended up robing myself and getting a rifle. I had to like have a little tube at the bottom and like where a tennis ball would propel, but a little bullet came out that was visible. Then, I was at like a fair. I heard, "Just like me, they long to be close to you." We were picking out an "outfit" or a piece of an outfit on each shelf, and there were like shiny material with patterns like in peach with ornate flower outlines in like that thing where the color, well like it, seems to change shades, forgot the word. Like, there was skirts and pants. I found one in like 5XL and then ones that stretched that were like Medium. Iridescent.
Oh, so we were floating around, like Mew.
Oh, so we were floating around, like Mew.
Things That Came Up
So, today, some things came up. I was talking about why I didn't look more like my dad's sisters. I talked about my brother and cousin and how she was Italian but had no father.
I got mad. I posted about it, already. I've handled a lot, but sometimes I get weird images. I can't say I don't want to ever think about them.
At the doctor, I found there was no wax in my ear. I might also get a female test.
I'm worried about things happening to me but not in person.
What do you think about people denying what others feel and what you feel about how they feel from someone else and that they're going to feel that way, anyway, but don't lead into it? My dad keeps getting upset if I'm happy. He thinks I have to suffer like him.
Are you getting annoying messages from people who are incompetent or who want to be popular, to let it out?
Why should I believe I'm "not what I want to be" and that it's my fault that I can't think these things nor am how I want to be physically?
Oh, and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about saying I want to h*** people but not really. Just ideas. I know it happened to happen at a weird time. It just came up. I mean, I have to do something like this sooner or later.
Also, watch out for twisting ideas because it's bound to occur. Let's see if we can prevent it because we can and the sooner the better.
So, do you want to be told you're not as good as someone older just because? Like, how can I figure out my desires all at once? Isn't it a process? I just can't think. Why did Johnny Depp become such an issue? It's like he shouldn't have been famous. I think we think the same thing about Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton. The other people are easier to handle. We also think no one should be in the world of work. People need to get blogs and post themselves online. I like Jewish things, but it's not the exact reciprocol to Chinese. I don't want to hurt the Chinese. I think that the Chinese are disliked, like the Vietnamese.
I keep being stimulated in bad ways for not letting it all out so I'm through and can't do anything that's a good idea to do. This is so annoying. These incompetent people. I don't feel confident about myself like everyone else. I also hear clicks, if you think that would do it. Like, squeaky clicks. I don't know why, but all these sounds are not broadcasted. I don't really see how it's possible, but I suppose it is. Like, they come from different places in my ear and sometimes like my head it feels. I know my ear is ringing. Sometimes, I think I hear ghosts. It's painful. It happened after I didn't do well in school. Then, I was annoyed at real world sounds.
What do you think about putting up with the faults of Ellen DeGeneres? Isn't she influential? I wonder if she's the most famous under Julie Andrews. She isn't really talked about like certain others, but I guess she's more famous. Maybe it's because of her age. People born then are most stimulated. People born in 1959 and 1960 must be really stimulated.
Shutting Down
Oh, we went to the grocery store and I got lots of food. The bacon, beef, burgers, dogs, of course veggies, as well as apples. I went through quickly. I also grabbed a pie and got swirlie pops. I almost wouldn't have gotten rice because a lady was there.
Also, I was thinking, Tim Burton and Ellen DeGeneres, who I spoke of illy at the therapist on tape, for probably hating my mom's race, which I mean it might be a fact, not an insult, ... I also couldn't like stop and not say anything. So, Tim and Ellen ultimately like the younger kids but think they owe time to older kids, like I know people say, "Oh, C hristina." The idea is that they pay a lot of attention to me and supposedly spend too much time doing it and that later they want me to feel bad when they are supposed to stop. I just can't not keep up with them. I wanted to be busy acting, though. I mean, there is so much to learn. Why would I watch someone I don't like? I know there's the thing about making smaller names bigger. That's probably all. I mean, they probably would like me because they're famous. If someone else gets popular, they might lose interest.
I got mad. I posted about it, already. I've handled a lot, but sometimes I get weird images. I can't say I don't want to ever think about them.
At the doctor, I found there was no wax in my ear. I might also get a female test.
I'm worried about things happening to me but not in person.
What do you think about people denying what others feel and what you feel about how they feel from someone else and that they're going to feel that way, anyway, but don't lead into it? My dad keeps getting upset if I'm happy. He thinks I have to suffer like him.
Are you getting annoying messages from people who are incompetent or who want to be popular, to let it out?
Why should I believe I'm "not what I want to be" and that it's my fault that I can't think these things nor am how I want to be physically?
Oh, and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad about saying I want to h*** people but not really. Just ideas. I know it happened to happen at a weird time. It just came up. I mean, I have to do something like this sooner or later.
Also, watch out for twisting ideas because it's bound to occur. Let's see if we can prevent it because we can and the sooner the better.
So, do you want to be told you're not as good as someone older just because? Like, how can I figure out my desires all at once? Isn't it a process? I just can't think. Why did Johnny Depp become such an issue? It's like he shouldn't have been famous. I think we think the same thing about Ellen DeGeneres and Tim Burton. The other people are easier to handle. We also think no one should be in the world of work. People need to get blogs and post themselves online. I like Jewish things, but it's not the exact reciprocol to Chinese. I don't want to hurt the Chinese. I think that the Chinese are disliked, like the Vietnamese.
I keep being stimulated in bad ways for not letting it all out so I'm through and can't do anything that's a good idea to do. This is so annoying. These incompetent people. I don't feel confident about myself like everyone else. I also hear clicks, if you think that would do it. Like, squeaky clicks. I don't know why, but all these sounds are not broadcasted. I don't really see how it's possible, but I suppose it is. Like, they come from different places in my ear and sometimes like my head it feels. I know my ear is ringing. Sometimes, I think I hear ghosts. It's painful. It happened after I didn't do well in school. Then, I was annoyed at real world sounds.
What do you think about putting up with the faults of Ellen DeGeneres? Isn't she influential? I wonder if she's the most famous under Julie Andrews. She isn't really talked about like certain others, but I guess she's more famous. Maybe it's because of her age. People born then are most stimulated. People born in 1959 and 1960 must be really stimulated.
Shutting Down
Oh, we went to the grocery store and I got lots of food. The bacon, beef, burgers, dogs, of course veggies, as well as apples. I went through quickly. I also grabbed a pie and got swirlie pops. I almost wouldn't have gotten rice because a lady was there.
Also, I was thinking, Tim Burton and Ellen DeGeneres, who I spoke of illy at the therapist on tape, for probably hating my mom's race, which I mean it might be a fact, not an insult, ... I also couldn't like stop and not say anything. So, Tim and Ellen ultimately like the younger kids but think they owe time to older kids, like I know people say, "Oh, C hristina." The idea is that they pay a lot of attention to me and supposedly spend too much time doing it and that later they want me to feel bad when they are supposed to stop. I just can't not keep up with them. I wanted to be busy acting, though. I mean, there is so much to learn. Why would I watch someone I don't like? I know there's the thing about making smaller names bigger. That's probably all. I mean, they probably would like me because they're famous. If someone else gets popular, they might lose interest.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Florida and California
Why do parents let their kids get fat, in Florida?
Would you say adults who move from California are nostalgic?
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Would you say adults who move from California are nostalgic?
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Hobby
People from the north have a hobby of sexing up people from California.
When the most attractive, feeling, well-fed white blonde from California, born in September, I think (and my cousin is, the last class to make it, my grade,) moved to where I lived in Florida, the nation's oldest continuing city, in northeastern Florida under a major city, life was more a hold of, all of a sudden.
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When the most attractive, feeling, well-fed white blonde from California, born in September, I think (and my cousin is, the last class to make it, my grade,) moved to where I lived in Florida, the nation's oldest continuing city, in northeastern Florida under a major city, life was more a hold of, all of a sudden.
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People up North
People up north are racist. They are also open, in a way, and can be interested.
People down south are racy.
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People down south are racy.
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Problem
My nose twisted in the middle.
You can't make everyone like everyone else in "juicy" bad ways.
What about everybody else?
So, is it just bad Europrean people who are okay?
So, what's the reason?
You're just racist to me.
True, it seems to have happened at a suspicious time. Bad things have happened because of the effects of famous people. It's always a sign of not being careful in delicate situations, in general. I will not live as a nigger, and I can blog whatever I want.
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You can't make everyone like everyone else in "juicy" bad ways.
What about everybody else?
So, is it just bad Europrean people who are okay?
So, what's the reason?
You're just racist to me.
True, it seems to have happened at a suspicious time. Bad things have happened because of the effects of famous people. It's always a sign of not being careful in delicate situations, in general. I will not live as a nigger, and I can blog whatever I want.
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I'm in the bus.
I think I forgot my Twitter + Facebook password. Well, it's a pretty bumpy, interesting ride.
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Problem
I can't keep having problems. I don't see what's going on. I mean, like I do something, and people have to "say it's okay." I guess they'll only get worse. Also, people like me but not really racially so are trying to appeal to my dad and use me as the scapegoat. I didn't say that we had to explode the earth, I was just saying it's definitely an issue or problem. It doesn't always happen directly, but it's like maybe it'll come up or maybe we should just talk about it. Also, I feel people said that I can't really think and they're supposed to just sorta hurt me along the way and I never really did anything. I keep getting these suggestive messages since watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show." Before, I had problems, as well, many. I'm trying to get them better, though. This is unfair and "could happen to you" if such a thing could possibly happen to me. I can't believe what happened in school, the hard course and being kicked out of my major rather than being told to take less courses.
Feeling Blue
For some reason, I guess I got mad around my mom and retreated to my room. I didn't really do anything too bad directly. It kinda lasted the night.
Dream
I just dreamed I began to retell my dream. So, there was this cartoon baby pony that was a little dark. It was flying around a mountain after awhile, supposedly, and it had a light sibling that was tired. Anyway, there was a noble, adult pony dragging it by its tail. Then, it's hard to remember what happened next, but that lasted awhile. It might have been blue or brown. It was dark. It was a cartoon. Then, I dreamed I saw Tim Burton directing people standing facing each other in like a palace. I sensed he was embarrassed, but it made sense he was a Talented artist. I had figured out a way you could have time for both. I realized I did acting and singing but had a base where I dedicated fun time to art growing up and people would often tell me they liked my art when I lived in Florida and in high school. Same with piano. They thought I should make that my life, assertedly, but many people said I could do anything. Also, I think, before, I was with my mom and dad and some trouble happened. My mom left a note saying Mommy & my brother and my dad and me more to the side. It was with some plain cookies. They had got a new pack of cookies of an assortment of plain, chocolate with nuts, and chocolate chip maybe. I woke up and there were 2 flash cards on the floor under another flash card in the dust hidden in a corner by a trash can and another in front. By the toilet. That pony affected me. Earlier, I was in a shop, and I was looking for like a sports "jacket" with a Winnie-the-Pook design because it would go. Like, a place with modern stuff being sold in a more modern way, like outdoor sales primarily around. I think I have the feeling someone approached me from behind, now that I think of it, like a dark, figureless person.
Dream
It's hard to remember, but I'm conscious of it. Ah, yes, I was in my room on the computer. Weird things were happening. I ordered KFC and part of my order wasn't here. Ellen DeGeneres showed 2 things spinning on TV as a warding off after that. I accepted and didn't feel uncomfortable but warbly not in a watery way.
Before, I was with people. Maybe, it was like school. Maybe, there was something being solved. It was pretty big and kinda dangerous. Maybe, there was an outside and an inside with my computer, like an office, my room.
Before, I was with people. Maybe, it was like school. Maybe, there was something being solved. It was pretty big and kinda dangerous. Maybe, there was an outside and an inside with my computer, like an office, my room.
Quiz Bowl
I was saying we needed a big binder of stuff to memorize and quit.
The teacher drove us. I knew the stuff on My Fair Lady. It was an interesting experience, one I would recall. I was brought into it by a friend from San Fransisco. The art teacher was in charge. She was really nice. It was fun quizzing. I kinda wish I didn't do it and kinda didn't care. Actually, I was only in it 1 full year. It was a big thing. It's not my thing at all, really. I met kids from all girls and all boys schools in New Orleans, I think. I was looking forward to Debate and was the Laureate Sweetheart. I also got in Talented Theater and did pretty well. I used to stay after school with the teacher and help or talk. I also talked to my English teacher.
The teacher drove us. I knew the stuff on My Fair Lady. It was an interesting experience, one I would recall. I was brought into it by a friend from San Fransisco. The art teacher was in charge. She was really nice. It was fun quizzing. I kinda wish I didn't do it and kinda didn't care. Actually, I was only in it 1 full year. It was a big thing. It's not my thing at all, really. I met kids from all girls and all boys schools in New Orleans, I think. I was looking forward to Debate and was the Laureate Sweetheart. I also got in Talented Theater and did pretty well. I used to stay after school with the teacher and help or talk. I also talked to my English teacher.
School Clubs
So, some of the clubs I was in were Drama, Laureate, Quiz Bowl, and Debate was cancelled. I taught some kids a year older tennis, and this one friend of mine got on the team. I played at the health club and won! '8D
Like Britney
I was wondering why I was like Britney Spears. So, I was born in Fort Lauderdale, not on the beach. We lived inland. Then, we moved to a beach, where I best liked it. That's where I was created! '8D It's the best beach. Anyway, you'd probably like the beaches around Miami best. So, then, we moved inland again and then to another place inland. Then, we moved to Northeastern Florida. I guess it wasn't on the beach, but the city was. Then, we moved to Southeastern Florida again more north on a beach, which wasn't as good as Fort Lauderdale. Then, we moved to the nation's oldest continuing city, which happens to be a beach below the other city we lived in in Northeastern Florida. So, I lived across the bridge from New Orleans, which I'm guessing is hotter but more misty. I became a tomboy when we moved to the city in Southeastern Florida. However, I did baton and liked it. Oh, I forgot to write my cousin, so maybe I started to look like a rat. I never wrote until I was 25. My mom sent stuff. I was worried about racism. I wonder if they knew I wasn't reminded. I remember seeing the nice stationary. So, I also did gymnastics like Britney Spears but I wasn't on a team. I was the top gymnast. I guess Britney Spears also moved back to where she used to live. Wow, she's a Disney figure. So, I'm pretty big from eating a lot now. I used to eat a lot and got off my diet. I feel so laborious here in Florida. I guess up north I don't. I haven't really been anywhere. I wonder if it's like Ellen DeGeneres is from New Orleans. I'm thinking she has heritage there. I guess meeting several people from New Orleans, my life became rather exciting. Before, it was like Florida without the modern stuff. I don't recall the clothes stopping being sold in Florida, but when I went back and visited the big mall I didn't see the old clothes, years later. Like 4-5 years later. When I moved, I ended up getting striped checkered shirts with collars, at least 3, maybe 1 from my mom. I think I might have worn maybe T-shirts, dunno. Maybe not. I had some other clothes, a plain shirt. I had some cardigans with sleeveless undershirts. I never did get any 911 stuff. Then, I got maybe a few things for high school. I had a snap shirt with a floral-based design. I don't really remember what else. Oh yes, I got some kid shirts by the end of the year. They had like a nice design. I had 2 or 3 mebbe. One had a flower screened in front, and the other was a stitched thing with crinkly sleeves. I don't really identify with this area, but I was honored to seep in the culture with my different background. I was already fully formed just about. Just maybe a finishing touch at age 12 and got to ballet. It did seem rather surreal when I 1st got there, in a new neighborhood, a 2 story house. I lived in apartments from age 5-8. I didn't hear people. So, then we got uniforms. Oh yes, I used to have a white, cream, and red turtleneck, and my mom got me stretch pants, like Cats! I was 12. I used to eat those good old Pizza Pockets, nothing like today, at all. I also got into "Happy Days," "Laverne & Shirley," "The Brady Bunch," and "Gilligan's Island." My mom even called when "Laverne & Shirley" was showing too late. During the week, I'd listen to musicals. Maybe, I should have gotten out of learning piano. My Italian teacher didn't mind when I didn't have time to practice much, and somehow my talent from the coastal area of Florida carried over into college. So, when I was older, I dunno what all I wore, but I know for college I finally got kids dresses. I remember wearing a pear of dressy pants, too, with this white collared shirt maybe from my mom. I had some interesting things, I think, I may not all remember. I got more kids dresses at the hurricane and then got too fat. I haven't worn anything too big in the past. I just remember I was the kind of person who had stuff like maybe sorta classy brown sorts of things you'd remind with or like things that are baggy and dark with a floral pattern. I really like the turtlenecks, though. I just thought I was too old for juniors clothes at 12 and wore women's clothes. I was 5'. I made some dresses, but they weren't casual. If I knew Ellen DeGeneres was from the New Orleans area, I may have watched her show. I didn't post online before, but I would want to.
I have the funniest story to tell you! ;D
I was at school, and a hurricane hit supposedly and we were all trapped up in the top floor of the library. We went home and calls were being made via the directory. So, my mom got us early. I remember being in bed totally convinced this would be put in an encyclopedia, playing with my female thing.
Also, we walked to church every Monday. It was pretty far, maybe 5-10 blogs.
There was also a plaza at the Cathedral. The festival was at the huge cross, where they had the 1st mass. I remember caroling around the city. It was so cool when I was "2 turtle doves." I was an alto.
The Cathedral was the lasting memory and the formulation of my childhood. There was even an upstairs. We practiced in a room upstairs at the front of the church. It was pretty cozy but not so like pristine. The high school used to have a choir led by a black man. I almost went there. I know the public high school had plays. There were lots of beautiful places. 1 of them was like the top 10 in the world, by the Fountain of Youth, a neighborhood where a good friend lived who liked pigs. I had 2 friends who liked pigs. It seemed so hard to keep track of all our favorite animals. I don't really remember my 1st favorite animal. The city itself was pretty dreamy in 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998. There was this set up in front of the wax museum of a figure raising a gun under a table. There's also a torture chamber in there. Ripley's was pretty cool. I lived closest to it but for 1 house. It was a ways away, though. They had a torture picture, too. I guess the most interesting part was ... well, I don't want to ruin it. I had posted some of my misadventures. Check out this: link. 1 quote was by Fuzzy, "If the lighthouse is so tall how to people live in it? Really tall, thin people." ;D Tha's a good one! So, the square with the Cathedral is really nice. There is a bridge and a bay and a fort. On July 4th, these, this guy said, "Hey" or something... We saw dolphins there. I used to listen to music then, Classical CDs and Enya. I was learning piano and had a keyboard and was considered really good and good at improvising and memorizing. In 1998, I played Titanic. The real thing. There was this little movie theater in the mall or this movie theater in the little mall, named after a Spanish discoverer. I didn't win the science fair, but I was there. It was very fun. My experiment wasn't so advanced, something I never heard of. I don't remember well, but I know that milk spoils and cut flowers live well on lemon? My mom was a florist at Albertson's, and she was considered really good. She got the job when I was in 6th grade I think and took classes at the community college. I was there for an opening ceremony. Before, I remember her getting her citizenship, wait, after. She was very foreign to me when I was a kid. Before, I just felt like another race. Maybe, I wanted to be like her, but I guess I wasn't. It's interesting when you think about how kids today are, like their fathers, like if they're like had on purpose. I grew up thinking I was a person. I'm not sure what happened. Something to do with "race." I took tennis lessons at Marsh Creek, which was like a vast landscape and had golf carts going about. I thought it had a landfill. I started when I was 11. It was unbearingly hot, but I did it. I guess it was a bit thick. My music teachers played tennis, and the daughter in my class did gymnastics. I was supposed to take it with her. I remember singing carols on the road with the stores. Luckily, I was into old-fashioned things. My mom wanted me to read the Swedish American Girl, but I liked the redhead from 1776. I also read the Little House Books up to The Long Winter. My music teachers were from Wisconsin, too. I liked the 1st book, best. I kept reading the back cover that started, "Depp in the woods of Wisconsin..." I used to get jealous of up north and wanted to relocate. I wanted to see my relatives and live in the environment. They closed Pizza Garden and the chain that sold a pizza I liked at the end of a walkway by the Cathedral. The Wax Museum is there, too. Pizza Garden sold Sicilian pizza. Also, on the street where I lived, was Village In, where I ate with my friend at night several times, until midnight, after her mom's concerts in Jacksonville, which I liked a lot since I was so adamant about singing and being in the chorus. It was my total fixation along with my appreciation lasting from "art" stuff. I even took some courses before piano. I had this one nice one of a wolf where the teacher did the nose. I guess you get better as you get older. They snacked when they got there, too. It was just a nice place. The only other big thing might be in Florida Jacksonville, which was right above it. Well, in kindergarten, it was pretty stimulating. We watched "The Letter People" as well as in 1st grade. In 1st grade, it was quite an experience, 1992-1993. Well, I guess I was hoping for something else. I got cultured. I liked in kindergarten when we tasted the food from all the countries. It wasn't a big deal to me. I was in Gifted, but we didn't do anything like painful. There was this funny part, though, we watched movies in school, and in 1st grade we would want to get to rub the teacher's back. I guess I was also cultured at home. Like, I got in on my dad's world of work in how he sorta showed me about it. I used to draw cartoons from comics or something or be into Dilbert. So, I know they have animal berts. He had this huge office, and I had pizza from home. I wanted so much more. I used to slip drawings under the door to someone. That's when I was maybe 5 but I dunno. We used to drive to get him at work every day when we lived in Boca. The guy at the front in charge said, "Good night." or "Good evening."
Another fun thing was going to Key West and Niagara Falls. Up north we saw Chicken Run and were in the plaza, which was quite complex and large. I went to Key West 3 times. Or 4? I was small the 1st time. I liked the kayaking in the ocean. I also liked the ghost tour, a lot. I thought my life was maybe an experiment. Diamond Dave. He's so funny. Like the father in My Fair Lady. He said the floating bodies wouldn't be good for tourism. Also, I think the ghosts fell from the building. There's also a story about like an elevator. There's also a part about race in the grave kinda area. It's neat in the place like the Hard Rock Hotel or restaurant. I think I've had other interesting experiences, ah yes, Washington, D.C. That was nice. I went there twice. I had the best time up north my 1st year of high school. We saw How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Emperor's New Groove. I quoted it in the car with my kid family a lot. It was "the" thing but not necessarily the best nor all there is.
I don't know if I can tap into it. I had a good experience by the time I reached up north. I got the feeling of the father of "The Wild Thornberries," which I've seen glimpses of and watched some of. I got a feel for it and liked it. I like the popular episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants where he's at Bikini Bottom and the bus keeps going by. I identify with the snail.
I'm still kinda shocked I was at the mall in Mississippi, and I know kids were being shown a lot of affection. I wasn't. Anyway, so, there was this big lady carrying a slim girl with a huge bow in her hair. I was so surprised when I moved there they all wore ribbons, even in high school, it seemed, like the dancing and stuff. I mean, it's cool, but I would never do it, unless I were really weird. So, she was with a group of kids, too. There were maybe 5 kids. I guess I was kinda upset I never experienced that. Maybe, I wanted to be small, but now I want to be big. I think I wanted to be a really little kid. Then, I decided I wanted to be an average kid. Now, I want to be a teenager. However, I'm like a decade too old. It was a big fascination of mine, babies and such, and I'm still fascinated with young people. I've been warding off affection here in Orlando. ^99^ ^66^ I recently decided to start to feel since I'd been posting about Tim Burton so much. Maybe because I'll grow up. So, now, I don't feel like I'm not smart anymore, at least. I've got something going, and it's kinda 2nd nature but a bit taxing probably. I'm actually quite afraid to feel. I kinda don't feel anything. I already thought I was dead moving. That happened up north, for some reason, from the experimentation! '8D
Also, we walked to church every Monday. It was pretty far, maybe 5-10 blogs.
There was also a plaza at the Cathedral. The festival was at the huge cross, where they had the 1st mass. I remember caroling around the city. It was so cool when I was "2 turtle doves." I was an alto.
The Cathedral was the lasting memory and the formulation of my childhood. There was even an upstairs. We practiced in a room upstairs at the front of the church. It was pretty cozy but not so like pristine. The high school used to have a choir led by a black man. I almost went there. I know the public high school had plays. There were lots of beautiful places. 1 of them was like the top 10 in the world, by the Fountain of Youth, a neighborhood where a good friend lived who liked pigs. I had 2 friends who liked pigs. It seemed so hard to keep track of all our favorite animals. I don't really remember my 1st favorite animal. The city itself was pretty dreamy in 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998. There was this set up in front of the wax museum of a figure raising a gun under a table. There's also a torture chamber in there. Ripley's was pretty cool. I lived closest to it but for 1 house. It was a ways away, though. They had a torture picture, too. I guess the most interesting part was ... well, I don't want to ruin it. I had posted some of my misadventures. Check out this: link. 1 quote was by Fuzzy, "If the lighthouse is so tall how to people live in it? Really tall, thin people." ;D Tha's a good one! So, the square with the Cathedral is really nice. There is a bridge and a bay and a fort. On July 4th, these, this guy said, "Hey" or something... We saw dolphins there. I used to listen to music then, Classical CDs and Enya. I was learning piano and had a keyboard and was considered really good and good at improvising and memorizing. In 1998, I played Titanic. The real thing. There was this little movie theater in the mall or this movie theater in the little mall, named after a Spanish discoverer. I didn't win the science fair, but I was there. It was very fun. My experiment wasn't so advanced, something I never heard of. I don't remember well, but I know that milk spoils and cut flowers live well on lemon? My mom was a florist at Albertson's, and she was considered really good. She got the job when I was in 6th grade I think and took classes at the community college. I was there for an opening ceremony. Before, I remember her getting her citizenship, wait, after. She was very foreign to me when I was a kid. Before, I just felt like another race. Maybe, I wanted to be like her, but I guess I wasn't. It's interesting when you think about how kids today are, like their fathers, like if they're like had on purpose. I grew up thinking I was a person. I'm not sure what happened. Something to do with "race." I took tennis lessons at Marsh Creek, which was like a vast landscape and had golf carts going about. I thought it had a landfill. I started when I was 11. It was unbearingly hot, but I did it. I guess it was a bit thick. My music teachers played tennis, and the daughter in my class did gymnastics. I was supposed to take it with her. I remember singing carols on the road with the stores. Luckily, I was into old-fashioned things. My mom wanted me to read the Swedish American Girl, but I liked the redhead from 1776. I also read the Little House Books up to The Long Winter. My music teachers were from Wisconsin, too. I liked the 1st book, best. I kept reading the back cover that started, "Depp in the woods of Wisconsin..." I used to get jealous of up north and wanted to relocate. I wanted to see my relatives and live in the environment. They closed Pizza Garden and the chain that sold a pizza I liked at the end of a walkway by the Cathedral. The Wax Museum is there, too. Pizza Garden sold Sicilian pizza. Also, on the street where I lived, was Village In, where I ate with my friend at night several times, until midnight, after her mom's concerts in Jacksonville, which I liked a lot since I was so adamant about singing and being in the chorus. It was my total fixation along with my appreciation lasting from "art" stuff. I even took some courses before piano. I had this one nice one of a wolf where the teacher did the nose. I guess you get better as you get older. They snacked when they got there, too. It was just a nice place. The only other big thing might be in Florida Jacksonville, which was right above it. Well, in kindergarten, it was pretty stimulating. We watched "The Letter People" as well as in 1st grade. In 1st grade, it was quite an experience, 1992-1993. Well, I guess I was hoping for something else. I got cultured. I liked in kindergarten when we tasted the food from all the countries. It wasn't a big deal to me. I was in Gifted, but we didn't do anything like painful. There was this funny part, though, we watched movies in school, and in 1st grade we would want to get to rub the teacher's back. I guess I was also cultured at home. Like, I got in on my dad's world of work in how he sorta showed me about it. I used to draw cartoons from comics or something or be into Dilbert. So, I know they have animal berts. He had this huge office, and I had pizza from home. I wanted so much more. I used to slip drawings under the door to someone. That's when I was maybe 5 but I dunno. We used to drive to get him at work every day when we lived in Boca. The guy at the front in charge said, "Good night." or "Good evening."
Another fun thing was going to Key West and Niagara Falls. Up north we saw Chicken Run and were in the plaza, which was quite complex and large. I went to Key West 3 times. Or 4? I was small the 1st time. I liked the kayaking in the ocean. I also liked the ghost tour, a lot. I thought my life was maybe an experiment. Diamond Dave. He's so funny. Like the father in My Fair Lady. He said the floating bodies wouldn't be good for tourism. Also, I think the ghosts fell from the building. There's also a story about like an elevator. There's also a part about race in the grave kinda area. It's neat in the place like the Hard Rock Hotel or restaurant. I think I've had other interesting experiences, ah yes, Washington, D.C. That was nice. I went there twice. I had the best time up north my 1st year of high school. We saw How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Emperor's New Groove. I quoted it in the car with my kid family a lot. It was "the" thing but not necessarily the best nor all there is.
I don't know if I can tap into it. I had a good experience by the time I reached up north. I got the feeling of the father of "The Wild Thornberries," which I've seen glimpses of and watched some of. I got a feel for it and liked it. I like the popular episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants where he's at Bikini Bottom and the bus keeps going by. I identify with the snail.
I'm still kinda shocked I was at the mall in Mississippi, and I know kids were being shown a lot of affection. I wasn't. Anyway, so, there was this big lady carrying a slim girl with a huge bow in her hair. I was so surprised when I moved there they all wore ribbons, even in high school, it seemed, like the dancing and stuff. I mean, it's cool, but I would never do it, unless I were really weird. So, she was with a group of kids, too. There were maybe 5 kids. I guess I was kinda upset I never experienced that. Maybe, I wanted to be small, but now I want to be big. I think I wanted to be a really little kid. Then, I decided I wanted to be an average kid. Now, I want to be a teenager. However, I'm like a decade too old. It was a big fascination of mine, babies and such, and I'm still fascinated with young people. I've been warding off affection here in Orlando. ^99^ ^66^ I recently decided to start to feel since I'd been posting about Tim Burton so much. Maybe because I'll grow up. So, now, I don't feel like I'm not smart anymore, at least. I've got something going, and it's kinda 2nd nature but a bit taxing probably. I'm actually quite afraid to feel. I kinda don't feel anything. I already thought I was dead moving. That happened up north, for some reason, from the experimentation! '8D
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